Adding Value to Womanhood

September 30, 2014 at 3:39 pm Leave a comment

By Jackie Pau, September 27, 2014

Recently a slew of young actresses have had digital images of their scantily clad or nude forms made public without their express permission or prior knowledge. It is many things: illegal, an invasion of privacy, malicious, salacious, disgusting, degrading, a form of oppression, abuse and the subjugation of women.

In the world of gaming, the themes of sex and violence are rampant and gamers are encouraged to, I was told in one game, finds ways to kill a prostitute they had sex with and take back what they paid for services rendered. There are even chat rooms where people discuss the best ways to commit murder and score points.

Is there a correlation between the dark, perverted world cyber space can be (where sexual predators stalk and groom innocent children, and where the sex trade has gone high tech) and the high incidence of sexual assaults on American campuses over which President Obama has taken concrete steps to address? I would say a big yes.

“From sports leagues to pop culture to politics, our society does not sufficiently value women,” Mr. Obama said. “We still don’t condemn sexual assault as loudly as we should.”*

Isn’t it ironic when our more evolved societies value women less and less and misogyny wears a socially acceptable face, masquerading as sexual liberation?

We are all born with a sexual appetite but when we feed it the junk of pornography and erotica, so prevalent and accepted in societies now, we end up sexualizing the human body, treating it like a commodity. We often pass off nudity as worthy of artistic merit, or as a personal and free choice and therefore beyond criticism except by narrow-minded prudes. Every time we do that, we end up perverting our own humanity and we eventually become slaves to lust. We use each other, and our own bodies, to get our sexual kicks. We become addicted to sex and obsessed with physical beauty in an unhealthy and extreme fashion.

While the FBI goes after the hackers who splashed those images of celebrities online, we women can do something immediate and effective ourselves: stop objectifying and sexualizing your own body and stop taking nude or risqué photos of yourself and sending them to men. Why are you encouraging men to look at you as a sexual object? Why are you devaluing your own personhood?

The female body is very beautiful but why have we bought into this centerfold mentality to embrace our beauty? The man in your life should look at you with desire but he should not be salivating over your body like a piece of meat.

If a man is with you only because you look hot in a bikini and have a string of men lusting after you, there is something seriously wrong. And if you want that, there is something more than seriously wrong with you. I don’t need a crystal ball to tell you the relationship won’t last, or that he will eventually trade you in for a younger, sexier model.

I admit, as a woman, it is nice to be looked at admiringly by the opposite sex, to be told I look beautiful. But when a man holds a conversation with my chest, I feel violated. I am much more than the sum of my body parts and I demand to be loved and respected as such.

If we want to be valued for our human dignity, both male and female, we should begin by behaving with more respect for who we are, especially our bodies which are gifts from God and expressions of His sanctity and grace.

We need to teach our children, both girls and boys, how to love and respect their own bodies, and those of others. Teach them modesty, decorum and common decency. Teach them boundaries as well as the difference between right and wrong, good and evil.

And girls in college, nix the X-rated selfies, dressing and behaving like a slut, drinking till you pass out or doing drugs. Stay safe and do not let men treat you less than human, less than a woman. You deserve so much more.

*  Quote taken from:


Entry filed under: Personal Stories.

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