Making life beautiful

October 15, 2014 at 5:25 am Leave a comment

I was asked last Friday* to reflect on life: what it means to me, what is my version of a most satisfying life, and to write a life script.

It was a joy to discover how far I have come from my previous woeful refrain of life sucks then you die. I used to hate life, huge portions of my life.

I was unhappy and felt like a complete failure with no control over my life. I was not free and had no idea how to achieve freedom, try as I might to find it. Life was a box of chocolates filled with just the ones I hated, and left me craving for more.

Today I see life as exciting, albeit challenging at times, brimming with infinite possibilities. Life is an adventure to be savoured every step of the way.

It can be tiresome occasionally, and I have to juggle the tensions of what I would like to do and what I actually do constantly. It can be a tussle between my own selfish inclinations and the deep desires that clamour to emerge from the bowels of inertia and lack of self-confidence.

Sometimes, I wish to stay in my own comfort zone and say don’t bother me for I am doing the best I can when I know that’s not true. I can always do more, be more, squeeze more out of life, except my own concupiscence gets in the way.

My saving grace is my love for He who loved me first and with such tender beauty. Whenever we meet in prayer, He creates in me feelings of hope, peace, joy, fulfilment and love that draw me to Him even more, and toward His will. I may not understand His version of life for me all the time and yet, I believe in it and buy into it wholesale.

Even if it means I will get hurt, I will suffer great loss and life will bite at times, I still choose to love as Jesus does; to lay down my life by dying to self and therefore open the door to new life. I did this 11 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did for me and my life. I won’t lie, it wasn’t easy in the beginning, and it felt as if too much was asked of me, but it is the principle of biblical paradox that will weave its own inimitable mystery.

Saint Therese of Lisieux said:  Holiness is a disposition of the heart that makes us humble and little in the arms of God, aware of our weakness, and confident — in the most audacious way — in His Fatherly goodness.

I’d like to think that I have flashes of her audacity, for clichéd as it may sound, in experiencing the Father’s goodness I find life to be beautiful and it promises to be more of the same. I just have to open my heart to its beauty.

* The W2W Ministry is doing the life segment of John Powell’s Vision Therapy.


Entry filed under: Inspiring Faith.

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